Did Mayor Ed Pawlowski Shoot Someone?

The Daily Paper is reporting that a man was shot in the area of Twelfth and Gordon Streets early Wednesday Morning, and collapsed near the Mayor's House.
According to the opinions of several local bloggers, that is ample evidence that Mayor Ed Pawlowski is indeed, the true shooter, but no motive has been given.
Pawlowski critic Scooter Hillstrong was quoted on Blogworld news as criticizing local news for refusing to pursue the true story. "Everyone knows Mayor Pawlowski is responsible, no one saw him do it, but we know he has an invisibility cloak just like Harry Potter, and probably used it to get away."
Blogger Barney O'Google of Lehigh County Ravings and Rantings assailed Congressional candidate Sam Bennett, who lives more than 3 blocks away, for not immediately calling police to report the crime.
"She had to have heard the gunshots" he announced. " Having a ten story building between her house and the mayor's couldn't have possibly muffled all the noise."
O'Google then produced grainy, unidentifiable photos from an Alburtis Turkey Hill Market that showed the Mayor buying coffee 3 weeks ago next door to a weekend gun show. "That's probably where the Mayor got his gun, and probably where he will try and trade it back in to hide it."

Allentown Police Chief Roger McClain, (no relation to Detective John McClain of DieHard Movie Fame) had this reaction, however. "There is no evidence the mayor shot anyone. Yes, it is true he is from Chicago, and yes, he does live on North 11th street, but that in no way offers any proof that he shot anyone."
Critical Bloggers however, are firm in their belief that the mayor is guilty of something. Unannounced Mayoral candidate Pam Valkyrie of the blog Strange Perspectives, had this to say: "At the very least, he has to be responsible for the plane crashing on the Island on "Lost." And Former Independent Mayoral Candidate Mark Mendelsohn has his own theory: "I wouldn't be surprised to dig up the basement of the Allentown Brew Works and find that Ed Pawlowski had ordered that Jimmy Hoffa be buried there. Why do you think I don't want to sell the Americus? You wouldn't believe who or what I've stashed down in that dump."
That leaves any hope for an unbiased investigation in the hands of local media.
Wendy Wacky, anchor for Channel 69, The Family Fun position Channel, announced that everything looked peachy keen to her and the gang at happy face news, before rushing off in their psychedelic, hi-definition news van to cover the latest triple homicide down the street.
Gerald Cranky, Editor of The Morning Crankypants Newspaper, shared Wendy Wacky's sentiments, saying, "The Mayor's done so much for the city, look at all the parking spots our employees now have! How can you criticize such progress!"
So maybe the Mayor didn't shoot anybody after all, but it could'a happened. Maybe. sorta. kinda. Right?
6/03 Comment:
I have to clarify something, because I've been told current Federal incarceree Mark Mendolsohn never ran for Mayor, and might be confused with another person I haven't even heard of. But it sounded funny when I wrote it, and I thought he had. Now I find out he didn't. I don't want to be part of Mr. O'hares Stupid Blog War, so please don't drag me into it. Mark Mendelsohn never ran for Mayor, I was poking fun at people who take themselves too seriously. That's all. I forgot to get my "Free Speech" Approved prior to posting. My Mistake. (Sic)

Walmart to Build in Allentown!

Soon Downtown Allentown will Look Like This!

In a historic Announcement, Walmart Executives revealed a deal in which they would pay off all of the City of Allentown's debts, take over all its municipal operations, and build the largest Walmart Store in History, encompassing the entire downtown area.
Mayor Ed Pawlowski hailed the deal as groundbreaking in an era of Public private Partnerships, while pooh-poohing the insinuation that offering Walmart a 100 year KOZ had anything to do with it.
Walmart immediately took control, and started by reducing wages of all municipal employees. All Safety Forces will be re-classified and offered positions starting at $8.35 an hour with health benefits available if the employee wishes to pay for them.
Walmart Spokesman Ed Shenkelman, however, warned that city residents should expect their taxes to increase. "There's a lot of infrastructure that needs repair, and you can't expect our shareholders to carry the burden of the people who live here."
County Executive Don Cunningham declined comment, but sources say he was open to discussing the same agreement on the County level.